My sporadic return

In my year hiatus from blogging, I would have to say, a lot of things have surfaced into my life. While I will not be sharing all of those experiences with you today, I do want to say that I quite miss the writing and the reflecting in this blog. I also miss you, my audience, who have been on this journey with me of figuring out who I am (which I still am because when are you not?). Perhaps a good place to start is by giving you a bit of an update of what I have been up to.

1. I am graduating from college this fall with a Bachelor’s in Psychology and a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies! — Even though I am not the first in my family to graduate from college, just the fact that my imagination of walking the red carpet holding my diploma is getting closer, gives me a strong sense of emotion and pride. The bittersweetness is another thing. I am happy but I know I will miss this part of my life, the experiences, and the friendships that shaped a big part of my growing identity.
2. I am currently in the process of applying for graduate school!! — Goodness, it still feels weird to share this, it was as if I just graduated from high school and was crying on my mom’s shoulder when she left me at the dorms for the first time. Even being the organized person I am, I must admit, the process of preparing, applying, and researching schools has been a stressful one, so I have been leaning a lot on my parents to piece together the pieces of sanity I have left.
3. I have been putting more of a focus on my spiritual life. I am part of the staff who holds retreats for college students in my college. I took a week long class this summer to learn more about miracle scriptures in the Bible. Recently attended a retreat this month. So far, it is safe to say that my faith is growing and I am acknowledging this part of my life. This is a big part of the reason for why I have not yet lost my mind with these big transitions in my life. And I actually noticed that I am more satisfied and happy with my life — all plus sides!
4. I turned 21! — When I turned 21 this July, it was quite anti-climatic… the birthday was still wonderful though! I didn’t have my first legal drink on my birthday, but I did plunge (more like walked in slowly, wincing and nervously laughing) myself in below 40 degree temperature pond water. You best believe I could not feel my bottom half torso. I don’t know, I was just picturing myself testing my alcohol limits but my 21st ended up as one I can treasure.
5. When I am not living at home with my parents, I am in my apartment. There is just something about having a place of my own (with the inclusion of roommates) that has allowed me to grow and figure things out for myself. I managed to keep myself alive with my cooking/eating, cleaning, sleeping, and occasional night outs (I’ll go more in detail about my night out experiences as there have been quite a few of those haha).
6. Traveled. Last year around this time I went to Puerto Rico to visit my family after not seeing them in over three years. Partially to do an internship while the other part to catch up with my family. I am super grateful for that given month because it helped solidify my relationships with my extended family especially my aunt who allowed me to stay with her the whole time I was there. I went to New Mexico in December (2017) and in January. I went to Houston for my first out of the city research conference in April. Went to South Padre Island in May to celebrate the end of my third year of college and Mother’s Day. And went to Colorado to visit my oldest brother.
7. Fallen friendships. I let go of two close friendships. Sometimes you find yourself tired of defeating the odds. I know that sounds a bit rude, but my mental health was not heading in the right direction. It was time to let go.
8. Met my sister in Christ. I believe when you reached your ultimate bottom and you think you do not deserve what fine things in life has to offer, someone comes along to tell you that you deserve the FINER things in life. I met my sister in Christ at a retreat, the interesting part is that I already knew she was the one in the first conversation we had. (I’ll definitely have a separate blogpost of our friendship — she has been a light for me)

I am pretty sure I am missing a few updating bits, but do not worry, as I remember them, I will be writing about them. You’ll just have to continue reading to find out!

P.S. I want to continue providing advice for you all, as this after all started as an advice blog. I am open to give wisdom in areas that I have experience(d) in.

 

xx Chavelita

Day 12: A tea for my friends

Sunday morning. The sun peaks a little hello through the curtains and the smell of coffee brings the room to a gentle wake. Clock blinks eight thirty two and with one last stretch she gets out of bed. Blotches of mascara residue is left under her eyes making potent of her dark circles but her light hazel eyes tells another story. Loose locks of leftover curls framed her face and with that being said she wanders around her two roomed apartment. Colors of white, green, and gray flourished the apartment from head to toe with a little stain of red found on the washed out wooden floors. Only to remember that the friends she had were just something from her past. Painted white, she takes a seat and ponders. Tea. A cup of pipping hot tea is what she needed. Making tea was a specialty used in circumstances that were inexplicable even to the human mind. Such warm liquid to cure the cold of a broken heart. Accidentally making tea for two, she pours the remainder of the tea into a mug and stores the mug in the back of the cupboard. What cannot be seen should not be spoken about and what cannot be spoken about should not be seen. She keeps her friends to herself and she did not need someone or something to define her qualities. A sip of tea is the only satisfaction she needed and she had all the power within her small fingertips, at least right at that moment she does. Mint, honey, and a splash of happy juice, any tea could be her friend, anyone’s friend really. How much more wonderful could life possibly get? To the last drop. Life should be appreciated to the last drop.

Felt like doing a freewrite today. May do more in the future because they’re pretty fun to write!

xx Chavelita